by rachelthemuse | Jun 27, 2019 | Trauma
It’s important to understand what to expect from trauma recovery therapy in order for you to get the most out of your counseling experience. Everyone’s experiences are different, and so it’s important to understand that your needs are going to be unique, so it is worth the time it takes to find the right therapist for you. Sometimes this is just about a personality fit, but there are other considerations as well.
The decision to go to counseling after a traumatic event can be difficult for many people trying to recover after trauma. The reasons may include a need to detach from the traumatic event and avoid thinking or talking about it, the distress that comes from recovering memories of traumatic events, or perhaps previous negative experiences with counseling that cause people to be wary of seeking out therapy or any kind of mental health care. However, engaging in trauma recovery therapy can be life-changing for many people and can help them move on with their lives in a positive way.
There are several things to keep in mind when you are considering counseling for trauma recovery. Having the right expectations can help you get the most out of your counseling experience and hopefully make it a healing and therapeutic process. If you are considering seeking therapy for trauma recovery, keep the following things in mind:
1. Finding the Right Therapist May Take Time
One of the most important parts of trauma recovery counseling is to have a therapist that you trust and feel comfortable with. This means that you might have to see a few different providers until you find the right therapist for you.
Any professional therapist should be able to work with clients who have experienced trauma, but that doesn’t mean that any therapist is right for you. Furthermore, some therapists do specialize in trauma recovery so you might want to ask if the therapist you will be seeing has experience with your area of need.
If you have been sexually assaulted, you may have preferences as to the gender of your therapist, or you may have other preferences based on your comfort with any particular person. It is totally fine to seek out therapists that possess qualities that help you to feel more comfortable. This is also true if you have other unique needs related to your personal background, history, experiences, or culture.
Therapy is about YOU, so don’t feel bad about seeking out a therapist that you feel the most comfortable with. Most therapists are not going to be offended if you tell them that you have decided to go with a different provider.
2. You Don’t Have To Talk About the Details
Unless you want to. Trauma recovery therapy should be a place where you feel safe to discuss traumatic experiences that have happened to you and how they have affected you. It’s more important, though, that you feel comfortable with any decision to disclose certain details related to the trauma with your therapist. When you are ready and you have built a trusting relationship with your therapist, you can feel free to talk about the details of your experiences. However, you don’t have to feel pressured to disclose every detail of the trauma if you’re not comfortable doing so. It could take time and some work in therapy before you feel ready to share certain details.
Some people feel intense shame or guilt related to their traumatic experiences. Talking about certain details that trigger feelings of shame surrounding the trauma can be healing when done in a safe and therapeutic environment. However, sometimes when clients share things before they’re truly ready, they can feel too overwhelmed with therapy and then stop coming because they are uncomfortable. This is why it is more important that you feel comfortable with your decision to share things with your therapist than it is to just release everything all at once before you’re ready.
3. Trauma Recovery Therapy Can Be A Trigger
This can happen for a couple reasons. Sometimes, people are used to avoiding uncomfortable emotions, and other times people may be doing better and therapy starts to just remind them of the trauma. Unfortunately, because therapy can be trigger for some people, this may cause people to avoid therapy or to feel extra stress around or after appointments.
Many people use avoidance as a way of coping with trauma. After a traumatic experience, you may try to distract yourself from thinking about the trauma as a way to avoid the distress that comes with those memories. This is a normal reaction, but when you are used to using avoidance to cope with difficult feelings related to the trauma you may find yourself feeling triggered when it is time to talk about things in therapy. If this starts to happen, it’s a good idea to talk to your therapist about what you’re experiencing, especially if you are thinking about stopping therapy or not returning because you feel overwhelmed.
When you have made some progress in therapy and you are feeling better in your daily life, you might find that therapy starts to remind you of the trauma just when you’re starting to feel good about not thinking about it all the time. Sometimes, you might decide together with your therapist that it’s time for a break in therapy for a while, or to go longer in between appointments. Just try to keep the communication open with your therapist about what you need.
4. Your Therapist is Human Too
Therapy can be such a delicate process, especially when it is related to traumatic experiences. Most therapists are compassionate, empathetic and kind people that truly want to help their clients and are not going to judge you or shame you in therapy. Yet even the best therapists sometimes say things the wrong way, or don’t know exactly what to say, or make other mistakes that might upset you.
When this happens, try to remember that your therapist is just another human being who sometimes makes mistakes at work too. Certainly if there is some kind of ongoing issue with your therapist that is impacting your treatment experience then you might decide to seek out another therapist. However, if you let your therapist know how you’re feeling, whether you were upset with how they said something or you feel they are doing something else that you don’t understand or like, most therapists will be open to having a discussion about it and trying to resolve the issue. Resolving a conflict with your therapist can actually be a pretty therapeutic way to practice doing the same thing in your regular life and can help you gain confidence in your own ability to handle problems.
5. Therapy Heals but Doesn’t Cure
Getting counseling and support to help you recover from a traumatic experience is an important step towards healing emotionally afterwards. Ultimately, though, therapy cannot change what happened to you and cannot guarantee that you’ll overcome all of the painful feelings associated with the trauma.
Therapy can help you to process through all of the emotional distress related to traumatic events and can help you cope with the impact to your life and mental health. Trauma impacts people in so many different ways, from painful memories to damaged relationships years after the trauma. Therapy can help you resolve some of these problems and learn to reduce the negative impact of the trauma on your life.
However, the truth is that trauma is a psychological injury, and just like major physical injuries, sometimes you will never be the same. Healing a psychological injury is important to your mental health, but therapy can’t take away the experience of the trauma or make you go back to how you were before a major traumatic event.
Healing after trauma is more about adapting to the new normal of your life, where you have to work to accept the facts of what happened and create your own understanding and narrative of what it all means for you moving forward. Therapy can help you with this adjustment and give you the support and tools you need to limit the negative impact of the trauma on your life moving forward.
Are You Ready For Trauma Therapy?
Having the right expectations for trauma recovery therapy will help you get the most out of counseling, but some people are still unsure about whether they need or are ready for counseling. In truth, there are times when some people are just not ready for counseling, and it can take some people years after trauma to be really ready for counseling.
After a traumatic event and especially after a prolonged period of extended trauma, such as in abusive relationships or homes, people may be in survival-mode emotionally. Not everyone is ready for therapy immediately after getting out of a traumatic situation, which is okay. Often, it is not until much later that people realize how much of a long term impact the trauma has had on them and their relationships and coping mechanisms.
As mentioned previously, when people enter into therapy when they are not ready or disclose too much too soon in therapy, they can become uncomfortable or triggered and stop coming to counseling. It is a challenge to work through that discomfort, but when the emotional pain of coping with the trauma on your own becomes too overwhelming it is time to get some support and guidance to help you recover.
When you are ready to seek out counseling to help you cope with trauma that you have experienced, consider what your expectations are for counseling and then do some research to help you find the right therapist for your needs. Don’t let fear or anxiety over the counseling process stop you from getting the help you need. It can get better with time and you can get support and help if you are willing and able to participate in the therapeutic process.
by rachelthemuse | Jun 13, 2019 | Medication Management, Mental Health, Self-care
Depression can feel like an overwhelming sadness that saps the joy out of your life and prevents you from taking even small steps forward. Depression is treatable, though, and there are many ways to manage the symptoms of depression. Treatment is different for everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another. This is why it is important to have a lot of different coping methods and options for how to manage your depression.
Unfortunately, many people suffer through depression without the support or resources they need to help alleviate their symptoms in an effective way. This may be true for a number of reasons, including embarrassment or shame about the struggle with depression, lack of support from friends or family, a lack of access to resources to treat depression, or just not knowing what to do to deal with the overwhelming feelings.
Tips To Manage Depression
It’s important to understand that managing depression is usually not going to be a quick and easy fix. Most people have to really try to use multiple strategies to help them with their symptoms, depending on what their specific circumstances and experiences are. Here are 10 tips and strategies to help manage your symptoms that may help to provide some relief from the severity of your symptoms.
1. Talk about it
When you are struggling with depression, you may want to isolate yourself from others and hide how bad you are feeling. This is understandable because part of depression is often feeling like a burden on others, or believing that people in your life don’t truly care about you or what you have going on. Sometimes it is absolutely true that the people in your life are not as supportive as you need them to be. However sometimes there really are people that care about you and want to be able to be there for you and support you. Talking about your feelings and what you are going through with people who are genuinely concerned for you and care about you is such an important part of managing depression. Even when you don’t really understand why you’re feeling so down, just talking about the struggle can be helpful. When we don’t give our feelings a voice, they will continue to stay stuck inside you. Try to think about the people who have offered to listen or support you in the past and let them know that you could use someone to talk to. You might be surprised at who is willing to listen.
Writing or journaling is an excellent outlet for people who enjoy this kind of practice. This is basically the same kind of practice as talking to someone else, it just keeps your thoughts and feelings more private while you still have an outlet to express them and get them out of your head. Journaling can be a way to directly express and release distressful thoughts and feelings, while creative writing can be a totally different way of accomplishing the same thing. Writing poetry is one example of creative writing, but you could even write fiction if you feel like it. Some people may find writing or journaling to be stressful or unproductive and that is totally fine. You don’t have to do this if it’s not your style or you don’t find it helpful. But for the writers out there, this can be an invaluable way to cope with your symptoms.
3. Use creative expression (art, music)
Aside from writing, there are many other forms of creative expression that can be an outlet for your feelings. If you are drawn to visual arts, painting, drawing, sculpture, and even coloring can be good creative outlets for you to express how your feeling. If not, consider music, dance, or other forms of self-expression. Think about what you feel your depression looks or feels like and put that down in some kind of artistic medium. Giving your depression a concrete representation through creative expression can help you feel more power and control over those emotions.
4. Intuitive exercise
Exercise has been clinically proven to help alleviate symptoms of depression and other mental health symptoms, but from a therapeutic perspective I always recommend intuitive exercise when it comes to managing mental health. This means that you absolutely should use exercise, but you should focus only on exercise that you enjoy and that doesn’t stress you out. This means that the most important thing to consider is what the impact of that form of exercise is on you specifically. It will be different for each person. One person may find yoga therapeutic, but the idea of a Cross-Fit session makes them dread even leaving the house. Another person may find kick-boxing exhilarating and energy-giving, but find walking dull and unhelpful. The main concern should be listening to your body and your own intuition and honoring what feels best and most helpful to you.
Getting some sun and spending time in nature is another important way to create an overall healthy lifestyle to manage symptoms of depression. Sunlight is also a proven natural therapy that can boost mood and provide an important source of Vitamin D. for people who struggle with depression, taking a short walk outside when the sun is out or even absorbing the sun’s rays relaxing in a park or by the pool can provide a little boost to your mood. I have actually seen this benefit people in therapy, as well. When I have clients that are really stuck in a rut and can’t seem to do much else to combat their depression, sometimes taking their dog for a walk outside daily and spending a little more time in the sun and a little less time indoors in the dark can provide just the smallest boost they need to start feeling a little better. Gardening is another natural therapy with proven mental health benefits that helps you get some sunlight into your life.
6. Gratitude practices
Doing a daily or weekly gratitude practice is a good thing for everyone to do, but when you are struggling with depression, it is really important. Sometimes that can be hard to do, when you are feeling so low and it seems like nothing is going your way. Yet there is almost always something to be grateful for, and sometimes you have to start small when you can’t see the big picture. Sometimes if might be just having a bed to sleep in today, or having the love of one person in your life. Often, though, there is so much to be grateful for, but we don’t always see it when we are struggling. Being more intentional about gratitude can help you frame things in a way that helps you to shift your mindset away from depression and towards feeling grateful for all you have in your life. For more on creating a gratitude practice, see this post.
7. Access counseling
This can be a tough one for many people both because the idea of counseling can be intimidating, and also because many people struggle with access to mental health services due to the many complicating factors involved in our healthcare system. Furthermore, some people may have had negative experiences with counseling in past and therefore are hesitant to form a trusting relationship with a counselor again. However, if you are able to see a counselor, I would encourage anyone who is struggling with depression to seek help. There are many dedicated and caring professionals with experience treating depression. Sometimes it takes a little time and effort to find the right therapist for you, but it is well worth it to find the person who you feel most comfortable with. Counseling has saved many people’s lives, and having that professional support could make a huge difference in managing your depression.
8. Take time off
This strategy can also be difficult for many people because of the barriers involved in taking time out from work, family, or other social obligations. There are financial considerations, work performance considerations, and the pressure of stepping away from all of the obligations you have towards people who are counting on you. All of that extra pressure can trigger your symptoms of depression to worsen and leave you feeling hopeless about ever being able to take a break. Everyone has to evaluate their own situation and figure out what they can reasonably do to get a break from some of the things that may be overwhelming you and exacerbating your depression. What you don’t have to do, though, is feel guilty about taking time to take care of yourself. Your life and health are important—just as important as everyone else’s and certainly more important than any task or social obligation you may feel tied to. Releasing yourself from the guilt of taking time to take care for yourself is one thing that you can do right now to help manage your depression.
9. Plan for the future
When you feel depressed, you may feel hopeless about the future. The present may seem miserable and the past may seem like it clings to you. You cannot change the past, but you can change your future, and thinking about and planning for all the things you want to look forward to can help to alleviate some of the sadness and hopelessness you feel. Believing that things can change is one of the keys to managing major depression, because feeling hopeless is a significant symptoms of depression. There is no guaranteed outcome in life, but as long as you can see a future for yourself where things are different, then you can hang onto that hope for a time when you will feel better and be able to live your life fully. Make a promise to never give up on yourself by envisioning the future that you want for yourself and use that vision to give you hope when you are feeling low.
10. Consider Medication
Mental health medication can be life-saving for some people, yet many people are hesitant to take them. This could be due to being worried about side effects, not wanting to be “dependent” on a medication, or not having access to appropriate mental health care. Not everyone needs to be on a medication, but it is appropriate and even necessary for some people depending on the severity of their symptoms. Taking an anti-depressant is nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, you probably know several people on mental health medications, even if you are not aware of it. Taking a mental health medication is a serious decision, though, and one that should be made by you and your doctor together. For more information on how to know when a mental health medication is right for you, see this post.
Managing depression usually requires people to use several different methods to help combat their symptoms and help them feel better over time. Some people may need long-term treatment, while others may be able to recover after a few months of treatment. There are so many factors that influence how severe an episode of depression is, but please remember that help is available and that depression is a treatable condition. Above all, listen to yourself and your needs, and recognize that your life is worth fighting for. You are not alone in how you are feeling, and you can get better with treatment and support.
For more information and resources on depression and mental illness, please visit:
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline